A few years ago we were in a position no parent ever plans to or wants to be in. We had decisions to make. Big ones. Life changing ones. We stepped out in faith and did what we felt was best, at the time, with the information we had and with much prayer and wise council. We never looked back. We were in His will no matter how messed up that looked to others or felt to us. We sent our 11-year-old daughter to a boarding school, 2000 miles away, temporarily, so she could participate in a program that we knew would be so beneficial for her. It was a gift….it just looked different than one would expect.
What that left us with was a room. An empty room in our home. Walking by that room each day weighed me down. Made me sad.beyond.words. Might I say I even missed the mess in there just a bit… because that would mean she was here and not there. No High School Musical tunes (which I am not a fan of) blaring. No giggles. One less place to set at the table. One less everything. sigh. An empty room. Down to 2 kids temporarily.
About 5 weeks after this vacancy, hearts still very heavy, we noticed a post in our church’s email that they needed housing for a male junior high pastor intern for the summer. Hubby and I talked. Prayed. Our boys got excited. We said YES!
May of 2013 he pulled up our driveway, walked around to our deck only to be met by an ambush of Nerf gun darts. Surely he was wondering what planet he just landed on…but he embraced it, settled in to a room decorated from floor to ceiling with hot pink accents and spent the summer with us. I believe it wasn’t even a week in to his visit when our puppy got violently ill {read here}… that he was dragged out of bed at the crack of dawn {hubby was out of town} only to be asked to come help clean up the most horrific dog mess in our family room so I could get to the vet asap. He was not a dog lover and this was not the best way for the two of them to bond nor how any human being wants to be woken up in the morning.ever. I’ll spare the details…you’ll thank me.
The summer of 2013 became a summer of laughter and the craziest prank wars ever! He came home once to a room that was so full of hot pink balloons that he could barely get his door open. We came home from a vacation only to find the boys room covered in plastic wrap… everything plastic wrapped…clothes…toys…chairs…doors… One Direction posters taped to the walls…pink streamers…balloons… epic prank!!! Of course we slipped a plastic roach in to his oatmeal box. Then came his revenge {he put up with A LOT, folks}… he covered every square inch of my car with post it notes. Mainly hot pink ones… no joke… and then it rained overnight {are you cringing just a “wee” bit?}. When we found my car in the morning, we laughed…a lot…that was one heck of a prank…the most epic of all summer; but when we started to pull off the little paper squares we noticed the hot pink dye had stained my car’s paint {um… this is my brand spanking new minivan}…. Prank gone bad… SERIOUSLY bad.
The car was immediately brought to the car wash to be buffed like crazy, etc… his life depended on this car coming back with no hint of pink on it… and it did… and so we let him live… but not before {on his last day with us} we snuck down to his precious little, extremely clean, white sports car, threw glitter confetti all over inside and TP’d the outside of it. Who got the last laugh?
While we were sad to say goodbye, he left a profound mark on our hearts…He had laughed with us, cried with us, supported us, breathed life in to us, gave the boys a big brother for the summer and became a member of our family…forever. It was heartbreaking to say goodbye but we knew God had great plans for him and we were a mere stepping stone along his path. This past year we had the pleasure of attending his wedding where he married the love of his life…absolutely beautiful… but you can guess what our gift may have looked like? Prank wars forever! Yes, there was a gift buried beneath the roaches, crinkle paper and glitter!
What if you said yes?
A few days before he left us, I received a note from a friend. There was a local business called Growing Leaders {a non-profit leadership and development training company} that had internships three times per year and they were always needing host families. She had a young man she was going to host but due to the fact that she was working with foster children she couldn’t have other adults in the home overnight unless they went through an application process, etc. So I was asked if I would consider taking in this young man…24 hours after the first guy left! With the first intern being such an amazing experience for our family, we of course said YES and my next new SON arrived {no Nerf Gun ambush this time} and he settled in to the hot pink room. For his initiation in to the club we took him camping 7 days after arrival… with 25 people he didn’t know… 16 of which were kids under the age of 16! He was such a trooper. Thrown in to share a tent with my little dude. Awoke to a poisonous spider in their tent. He was like the sheep herder for the games after dark with all the kiddos. He passed the test.
He stayed with us through his internship that fall and when offered a full time position he continued to live with us and he became part of our family in even a deeper way. The conversations were deep. Late night talks in the kitchen. We bonded. We laughed. We cried. We supported. We encouraged. He was there for us through the most excruciating time of our lives and we were there for him during this huge transitional time of his life. The boys grew to love him, look up to him and depend on him. He loved those little dudes in return in a way that melted this mama’s heart. I had a 3rd son…forever.
The “first” time he moved out was HARD… but he decided he needed to be an adult and get an apartment {isn’t being an adult over-rated?}. So he did. It was a hard goodbye but he was only 30 minutes away. He couldn’t stay away from my cooking so we saw him regularly. All I had to do was mention my Stuffy Stuff chicken recipe {coming soon} and he was on his way. He’d come watch the boys if we needed help and regularly take them to his apartment for a boys only hang out night. The next year he went through a transition between apartments where he needed to move back in with us for a few months…our daughter was now home so he set up camp in our guest room. It was awesome to have him back for a bit and then he was back out adulting! A year went on and he was back and forth a lot to Texas {where he was from} and ultimately decided to move back. He just left… like 3 weeks ago and it was SO HARD to say goodbye. There is a hole in my heart and I get teary just thinking of what an impact he had on our family. He was such a blessing. He is forever a part of us.
What if you said yes?
Back up a bit…Once this last one was settled in his first apartment we decided to welcome a camp counselor from our church for the summer. A wonderful young man…. who happened to be extremely busy… he was gone by 5:30am and home late at night and straight to bed. We saw him at the dinner table 3x the entire summer, had a handful of conversations and that was about it. That’s ok. He needed a place to stay. We provided a home for him and that was God’s purpose for this one…summer 2014.
Our daughter came home in August of 2014 so we took the fall semester off from Hosting so she could get settled. But truth be told…we missed it. Something just didn’t seem right.at.all. She was home and our hearts were so full…but the house still had an emptiness about it. It was then that it really hit us…like.really.hit.us…just how these young adults had profoundly impacted us…it was then that we realized that while we were giving them a place to stay and pouring in to these 20 something year olds that are in that transitional time of life that this was our MINISTRY. It was our calling. I started to recall conversations that had taken place or comments received during our first two go-arounds… How can you let a stranger live in your home? Isn’t it weird? Do you have to feed them? Do you feel obligated to invite them to do things? Do you trust them with your kids? What if you don’t like them? Or they tell me all the reasons they could never do something “like that”; such as, I don’t feel like I can just be myself if I have someone living with us. They wouldn’t have their own bathroom. Our guest room is a mess. I’m not sure my kids would like it. I don’t think my husband would go for it. I don’t want to not be able to walk around in my PJ’s… yes, these are things people felt were “obstacles” or concerns. And yes, these people probably had a room that was empty 90% of the time or a basement that rarely got used. I’m not saying it’s for everyone, I’m just saying how quickly people dismiss the idea of taking someone in to their home. I know this because I once did the exact.same.thing. We had friends that had missionaries live with them constantly and I thought they were CRAZY for it! I get it… I know first- hand the apprehension.
What if you said yes?
The next Semester {spring 2015} we welcomed an amazing young lady in to our home. She had the sweetest spirit, was so grounded in her faith, was soft-spoken but bold, kind hearted, loving, strong and wise. I remember the night, not long after she moved in, that she came to the dinner table in a 1 piece PJ that looked like a bunny or unicorn… can’t remember which… but she just sat right down like it was normal…yep..she was going to fit in just fine. too.cute. Our daughter enjoyed having a big sister. Watching movies. Painting nails. Girl talk. Her and I had SO MANY mom/daughter talks. I was blown away at such wisdom at her age. She was so supportive of the challenges we were going through. She’d help out in a pinch. She had such a calming spirit. She was fairly busy being a social butterfly so was home maybe 50% of the time. We enjoyed every minute with her and are so thankful that we said yes. We still see her occasionally. She works full time for the company and lives about 30 minutes away. I do miss seeing her beautiful smile each day and hearing her sweet voice. She has grown in to such an amazing woman and I can’t wait to witness what God has planned for her future.
What if you said yes?
Fall of 2015 we welcomed a spunky young lady from Texas during her fall internship. She was a hoot. While she loved high heels, clothes & make up she was also a total tom boy and could play big sister to our daughter but also could give the boys a run for their money! I am pretty sure when she arrived and looked through our cupboards and thought she had landed on a different planet. Her little pantry space looked something like this: Captain Crunch Berry cereal {you know the one with all the bright food coloring in it}, cookies, soda, peanut M & M’s, and don’t forget the mini pizza pockets in the freezer, etc. and ours which had not a drop of any artificial colors, sweeteners, preservatives, gluten, etc. She was polite…she ate most of what I served but boy would she go to town snacking on the junk! Our daughter enjoyed another big sister and the boys loved that she could throw down and talk about video games, movies, throw a punch to the shoulder when they deserved it…dude stuff! She’d been through some tough stuff and has grown so much through the experiences. She was strong and wise for her age. We had amazing conversations. Her smile lit up the room. I miss it. She’s going to do great things in this world!
What if you said yes?
Summer of 2016 a large Ford pick-up truck with Texas plates arrived in our driveway and out stepped the biggest smile on the face of an amazing 20-year-old young man. He had just driven across the country alone to start his internship. His first time that far from home. We quickly learned that this guy was a keeper!!! Another one I knew we would fall in love with and then have to let go…. let grow up and go do that “adult thing”. I’ve never met such a mature 20 year old. He was smart as can be. Brighter than bright. Inner strength. Deep faith. Polite. Wise. Compassionate. Strong leader. Protective of those he loves. Funny. Playful. Deep thinker. Authentic. He spent a lot of time with us. He became another son to us. Every night at 5:30 I anxiously awaited his arrival “home” from work. He’d walk in the back door with that huge smile, sit at the counter and we would chit chat while I cooked dinner. This boy could talk and it wasn’t about video games… it was about life… and it was deep. It’s pretty humbling when a 20 year old dishes out wisdom and advice to someone {me} that’s been alive twice as long! A few times he would try to pass of that he had a “good” day but I could see on his face that that was not the case and so I’d call him out on the “cover up” and he’d spill the beans and we’d talk through the hard stuff. I’m a mom…and whether you’ve been my kid for nearly 17 years or you’ve lived in my house for 2 weeks I quickly learn if you are really “ok” when you say you are. It’s been just over a month since he went back to Texas… back to finish out his senior year of college. Another hard goodbye. Tears for this mama to see another son leave. So thankful for the time we had and I know our paths will cross again.
What if you said yes?
In the midst of all these interns coming and going we had little windows of opportunity and we said yes. First there were the three pastors from Brazil that stayed with us for 5 days. They were here to attend Discipleship training at our church. They were the kindest most loving souls. They spoke “good” English but we certainly laughed a lot, played some charades and did a lot of pointing as we communicated with one another. Let’s just say that their English was 100% better than our Portuguese to which we spoke ZERO. We learned so much about their culture, their families, their church and what the Christian population looked like in Brazil. We enjoyed watching them try American foods with such delight in their eyes. They really couldn’t process how we live here… we are so spoiled. We by no means live in a large house but to them it was a castle! It gives you perspective when you say yes.
Then there were the three missionaries from Poland! Ah, yes, the Polish guys!!!! What a blast we had with them. Try doing “Just Dance, Michael Jackson” version with polish guys!!!! Oh my word did we all laugh… hard… They were here with the Gospel Joy Choir which is a music ministry in Poland… and let me just tell you that these people aren’t singing hymns… they are getting down and raising the roof with gospel music like you’ve never heard it before!!!! To say we were blown away attending their concert at our church was an understatement. We ended up having a large part of the choir over our house one night for dinner and I thought nothing of the fact that we were serving tacos. Who hasn’t had a taco? Um… most of them had never seen or heard of a taco!!! Crazy, but so cool to watch them trying to build one, figure out how to eat it and their reaction to tasting it {they loved them!}. We loved seeing pictures of and learning about their families… so much love and pride. I miss these guys. We still stay in touch on FB and by email. I have a card they left me still sitting on my window sill. It reminds me of them every day. btw….the one on the left is my hubby…he’s not from Poland!
We said yes. Thank God.
When our son had surgery in Seattle, who stayed in our home to watch our other kids?…. 2 of the interns. When I was in Italy due to a near mental breakdown and little dude had to go back to Seattle for post op care with hubby, who stayed in our home and watched our other kids?…. 2 of the interns… We had no one else to turn to these 2 times that could stay overnight… everyone else had their own families to attend to… but they said yes and they loved on our kids, got them where they needed to go, fed them, parented them, loved them well. All because we said yes and we became family. Who picked up my kid from tennis when I was running late? Who made us laugh to near tears? Who joined us on adventures? Who took my daughter to swimming when I desperately needed to just chill? {hubby travels a lot!} Who threw dinner on when my plans for the day went south? Who took the kids out for the day when I was having a mommy meltdown? The interns. Who mentored my kids? Who took intentional opportunities to pour in to their hearts and set such an amazing example for them? The interns. We’ve joked….about having a game show… having them all come back… “Battle of the Interns”… a trivia game to see who came to know our family best. I have a feeling I’d know the winner hands down but it sure would be fun!
The amount of laughter, adventure and blessings we’ve had in our home with them is immeasurable…
IT’S FROM SAYING YES…
What if you said yes?
- Yes to giving someone a place to live for a day, a week or a year
- Yes to fixing another plate for dinner
- Yes to pouring in to another life
- Yes to allowing the parents on the other end to feel peace that their child is being loved well away from home
- Yes to being ok with someone seeing you with no makeup and in your PJ’s
- Yes to being ok if someone sees the authentic you… the whole package… laughing, crying, yelling, crumbling
- Yes to learning about another culture
- Yes to expanding your family
OK… OK… maybe you are not ready to consider “yes”.
What if you said “Maybe”?
What if you said “I’ll think about it”?
Amazing things happen when we say Yes to God. When we go outside our comfort zone.
What started off as just a reason to fill that empty room in our home…to fill a void…turned in to a ministry that was literally life changing, surely somewhat for the ones we hosted {evident by the cards, emails & from the bottom of the heart thank you’s we continuously receive}; but more so for our family. It profoundly impacted me. We were the ones that were blessed.
Unexpected blessings come from saying yes.
Maybe God never has and never will call you to open your home as a ministry, {and I’m not suggesting you all go out and hunt an intern down} but maybe He’s called you to something else. Maybe you are trying to ignore that gentle whisper because it’s outside your comfort zone or you don’t think you are good enough, equipped enough or “have it together” enough. Maybe you are ignoring it because it means you may have to make changes or expose a part of you that you’d rather keep hidden. I get it. I struggled through all of it. We are all called to something. We all have gifts to use and others we can bless. If you dig down deep enough, we all have an inner passion for something beyond ourselves. It make take a period of exploration…of trying different things…of taking a deep look in the mirror or searching deep in our soul.
What is God whispering in your ear?
Say yes… I promise, He has something amazing in store for you!
WHAT.IF.WE.HAD.SAID.NO?
There will come a time when you will look back and say, “I am so glad I said, yes”…
maybe you’ve already said yes… share your story in the comments below.
Sally says
I enjoyed your post and the pictures and memories. When I saw the email going out that the church needed a host family for a female summer intern, I knew it was something I wanted to do. With my girls being the ages they are and having so much conflict in their relationship, I thought it would be great to have another older mentor/friend for them. I was thinking it would benefit Anna more, but it ended up being Lily that gained the most. She had a fun, nice, engaged older sister for a few months. Caitlin was easy to live with, she fit right in quickly, and became one of our kids immediately. She was fun, sweet, and laid back – also a good cook, which I didn’t utilize enough :-). The summer went by fast and we loved having a third daughter during that time. I know she made a lasting impact in our lives and especially Lily’s. Luckily, she is moving down here so we will be able to keep in touch often.
Mandy says
I was so excited to hear you guys said “yes” and had such a wonderful experience as I am sure she did as well. It’s such a cool dynamic when a stranger moves in to your home and then within days feels like a full part of your family… like you’ve known them forever! You seriously should have taken more advantage of her cooking! That is exciting that she is moving down here!!!
Lynda Wiebe says
You bring to mind:
Hebrews 13:1-2
Keep on loving each other as brothers. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing so some people have entertained angels without knowing it.
I am pretty sure the guy from Texas was an angel. Because you know angels have Texan accents, right? 😉
Mandy says
Considering 3 out of the 4 interns were from Texas I’d say there is something special about that place. And then I met this Farmer Girl from out that way and she knocked my socks off and confirmed it!
Kathy says
I love every word you have written! And just prayed for God to guide us to our next Yes! Your heart is precious, Mandy, and I’m better for knowing you ❤️❤️
Mandy says
Kathy, thank you so much for your sweet note. I am so excited to know that you were prompted to pray for that guidance. I can’t wait to hear how God answers that prayer!!! God bless you and thank you as always for your love and support. You are a gem!