It’s so hard to believe that we said goodbye to 2016 a few nights ago. If your year was anything like mine, it had its shares of joys & sorrows, ups & downs, tragedy and triumph, answered prayers and unanswered prayers, laughter & tears, decisions and indecision, delight and defeat. Two of the hardest things were laying my father-in-law to rest and then our 5-year-old puppy within a month of each other, but yes there was even harder…much harder… but that’s for another time.
Definitely not dull, boring or predictable!
As you take a step in to 2017 what thoughts are consuming your mind? What tasks are long on your list? What is weighing on your heart? What decisions lay ahead? What are you waiting for? Where is your soul wandering? Or do you just sit in the state of wondering?
I don’t know about you all, but I’m just a mess in my heart, mind and soul. It seems it’s been years of “hard times” {but certainly not without blessings} that leave a soul a bit weary and wandering, leaves a heart anticipating and waiting and leaves a mind constantly wondering…what’s next, God?
We are in the process of making a decision for our family. A.Big.One. It will require change…not something hubby and I are a huge fan of {we’ve had enough the past few years!} and I can say wholeheartedly that it’s not something that 3 teenagers are a fan of…in fact, I’m sure there is no chance we’ll be nominated for the 2017 parent of the year award. It’s a shame to be disqualified so early in the year but I’m certain we have been.
Have you ever spent months, even years, in prayer over something and feel so certain about a decision and completely uncertain at the same time? You’ve received a little trail of breadcrumb type confirmations leading you along the path to that decision but that path also had some tree roots or large rocks that caused you to stumble, wondering if you’ve truly chosen the right path.
Sometimes I think it’s even harder when either decision you make will be OK. Neither would be bad or detrimental. They are just different options that could lead to very different outcomes. You try to picture yourself a year or more down the line in both scenarios, anticipating what God planned long before you entered this world. I lay in bed playing images in my head of what these two different movies could look like and try to determine which is our happily ever after. Yes, I just lay there wondering, and know in reality I can’t possibly begin to anticipate His plans…I’d be a fool to think I can.
I’ve asked Him to hurl a neon sign at me with THE answer although a more subtle, but clear, approach would be most welcomed. I find more often than not, that He sits back quietly and waits for us to take that leap of faith and to trust that He’ll be with us no matter what the end result looks like.
Yes, there are some decisions that must be made that don’t get a “rewind & redo” should you decide it wasn’t right. It’s more of a learn from it and figure out how to embrace it and move forward approach you must take.
So here we sit, one foot in our current state and one foot in a “starting over” state…stuck between the two, feeling heartbreak and a sense of excitement all at once.
The clock is ticking on the big decision. The trail of little decisions and tasks that come from choosing the new path seem insurmountable, overwhelming, a process of a gazillion little details and tasks that could easily cause a year of unrest. It seems “easier” to just stick with what we know, right? It doesn’t require much change of any, the “to do” list is big enough in this current state of life, teens stay somewhat happy {are they ever really happy?} and life just continues to move along. But I know my soul will still feel a stirring in it and leaving me wondering… what…if…? What if we made the “other” decision?
Decisions are never easy. You just gotta make the best decision at the time based on the information you have and not look back.
If you are waiting….wandering…wondering, I encourage you to listen to this sermon entitled: Out of the Harbor: Living Beyond Your Comfort Zone. Just click on this link and scroll down to May 1st 2016. I think it may bring you some clarity.
So… soon enough the decision will be made and our life will look one way or another. Your life will look one way or another. Either way it will still be OK.
What decision are ahead for you in 2017?
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